Now that my OnDemand is working I’ve decided to try some of the fitness TV offerings. Tonight I tried “Abs & Ass,” which was alright. The abs part was better than the ass, but I still can’t do a side plank to save my life. Then I tried Denise Austin’s “Cardio Fat Blast.” It really is some serious cardio but she’s so annoying. I don’t know if it’s her perkiness or her perfect hair, which you know they probably had to fix a million times during taping. It could also be her words of encouragement which include “because you deserve it.” I think I need to try some sort of boot camp Celebrity Fit Club style. There should be a workout where the trainer barks at you and swears the whole time. Anger would be more motivating than “let’s go girls” from perky, perky, blondie, blondie.